12 pre-divorce moves for a harassed husband

False cases don\’t always lead to arrest

More often than not, a man contesting a divorce in India gets hit by lopsided laws such as 498A (mental and physical cruelty), domestic violence and maintenance. What has emerged as a worrisome trend for men is a surge in false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence as instruments to settle personal scores. In February 2022, the Supreme Court took a serious view of false dowry cases registered against unsuspecting men and said that the tendency of employing dowry allegations as instruments to settle personal scores by way of general omnibus allegations made in the course of matrimonial disputes, if left unchecked, would result in misuse of the process of law.

\”On the advise of their lawyers, women often file false dowry or cruelty cases against their husbands. Regardless of whether a husband has demanded dowry or not, the onus is on him to prove his innocence in court,\” says Kapoor. He warns such men in distress not to believe in rumours. \”These cases no longer mean immediate arrest as the dowry section has lost much of its sting,\” he says.

Be extremely cautious in hiring a divorce lawyer

Hiring an advocate is no mean job as a lawyer can make or break a case. \”Lawyers can handle the whole gamut of divorce proceedings, from maintenance, child custody and visitation rights to criminal cases which may be brought against you,\” says Kapoor. He adds that before hiring a lawyer one should look at their expertise, references, past performance, etc. \”One should also be clear in one\’s mind as to on what grounds one is seeking a divorce.

Hence, these grounds should be clearly stated with the date, time and event in the petition. Ambiguous and vague statements affect the case badly,\” says Delhi high court lawyer Daniel David.

It never hurts to proactively keep a tab on the proceedings of your case by yourself rather than just hiring a lawyer and leaving everything to them.

Moving out of joint investment and assets Joint assets are a tricky area for both parties and often men get shortchanged as their initial contribution towards the acquisition of the said assets has been disproportionate whereas the ownership is split equally. \”A man should get her name removed from all the joint accounts before she unduly takes advantage,\” says Kapoor. \”Medical policies and other life insurance policies can be stopped by a husband if he is paying for them and his wife is now earning more than him,\” says David.

No physical relations

Kapoor warns men against any physical relations with the wife during the pendency of divorce proceedings. \”This amounts to condonation of cruelty and can hamper your case,\” he says. Also, one should avoid dating till the time the divorce proceedings are on, advises Kapoor. Avoid clicking pictures together or avoid going for outings as this may ruin your case. \”She can use it against you in the court to show that you have filed a bogus divorce case and there are no grounds for a legal separation,\” says Kapoor.

Watch your e-trail

Be very careful about what you post on social media or send in an email as your wife can misuse the texts, emails or WhatsApp messages sent by you,\” adds Kapoor. \”Don\’t write anything you wouldn\’t want your spouse or her lawyer to see. Consider getting a new email account for all communication related to your divorce,\” says David.

Don\’t abuse your wife

Frustrated, men in India resort to physical, mental or verbal abuse to vent their anger. \”The harassed man should learn to keep his emotions under control and not abuse his wife in any manner. A little lapse on his part can tilt the scales in favour of his wife,\” says Kapoor.

Maintain proof of communication

Men often hate documenting teeny-weeny details about everyday events with the warring wife and all those family conversations. \”A man must keep a record of all his communication, especially abusive ones or where she has asked him to get separated from his parents or when she has refused to maintain a sexual relationship with him,\” says Kapoor. David adds that all these incidents are relevant evidence in the eyes of the law and are valid grounds for divorce. \”If proven true, these proofs have the potential to give the man an edge in the divorce settlement and earn him a favourable decision in court,\” says David. Emails, phone calls and letters are pieces of evidence and can help you build a robust case.

Handling child\’s custody

Not being able to spend time with one\’s children can be a daunting prospect for any parent and a man seeking divorce needs to emotionally brace up for such an eventuality. If the man has children then he should provide for them in the alimony or in the divorce settlement. If a man earns more than

his wife then he will have to pay maintenance for the children till they reach the age of majority. A father may be granted custody of his children, but even if he is not the court will grant him visitation rights keeping in view the interests of the children, which are paramount.

\”The principles of law in relation to the custody of a minor child are well settled. It is trite that while determining the question as to which parent the care and control of a child should be committed, the first and the paramount consideration is the welfare and interest of the child and not the rights of the parents,\” says David. \”The provisions of law pertaining to the custody of a child contained in either the Guardians and Wards Act, 1890 (Section 17) or the Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act, 1956 (Section 13) also hold out the welfare of the child as a predominant consideration. In fact, no statute, on the subject, can ignore, eschew or obliterate the vital factor of the welfare of the minor.\”

Dealing with transfer of divorce cases

If the husband and wife both file divorce pleas separately, transfer petitions are filed in the Supreme Court to transfer the case to a specific place to avoid multiplicity of litigation, which is usually granted in favour of the wife as the judiciary leans towards protecting the conventionally weaker party.

Territorial jurisdiction is an important factor in trial court proceedings. \”If the wife agrees and the husband is ready to pay for her commute the divorce petition will be entertained where the husband has filed the same, provided the wife doesn\’t file a petition herself,\” says David.

Don\’t act under duress

Divorce proceedings are emotionally draining. \”It is critical that one should not sign the settlement agreement papers unless one is sure that it is all one can manage,\” warns David. Lawyers say that more often than not people are so tired of perpetually stretched

divorce proceedings that they just want to put an end to the ordeal and just settle for any agreement coming their way, which may not be the best bet in the long run.

Getting a legal aid when eligible

For a working man, getting legal aid is tough. Legal aid, in layman\’s terms, is assistance provided by the government to litigants to plead their case legally when they do not have the financial means to do so on their own. \”A man may avail himself of this facility only if his income falls below the taxable bracket; if he earns more he cannot get legal aid. If a man can reach an amicable settlement with his wife that is acceptable to both parties, a long legal battle can be avoided,\” adds David.

Think first, act later

\”Remember, when you file a divorce case you turn your marriage into a battlefield, and it should be done after a detailed discussion with family members. It should not be done on the spur of the moment; you need to be calm when filing it,\” says Kapoor.

This may appear vicious but the truth is that a divorce is a fight that has to be fought to the bitter end. Not being thoroughly prepared can leave you baffled as she walks away with your life-savings. It is better to deal with the situation in a calculated and rational manner so that your past doesn\’t get in the way of your future.

Source: https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/wealth/legal/will/12-pre-divorce-moves-for-a-harassed-husband/articleshow/95113352.cms