Domestic violence is inscribed as a violent/aggressive act within the home typically involving abuse of a spouse. The definition of domestic violence does not anywhere mention that it is only when the male spouse causes domestic violence to the female spouse will it amount to domestic violence. A more open-ended approach is required for these laws that prevail in India keeping in mind the orthodox thinking that it is always the male who acts violently and it is the female who is the patient one to suffer. It comes across as an orthodox reasoning to keep these gender specific behaviors in mind and generalize them with a supporting statement that men and women are supposed to be a certain way. I believe that men and women are not supposed to act in a certain way or behave in a certain way only because they are men or women as individuals but they behave in a way they are brought up. Since the very beginning in India and also maybe in other parts of the world men have always been given more privileges than women and have always been on a higher pedestal than women. Women have always been considered as a secondary citizen, the one who comes after a man, the one who is someone who is supposed to support a man and let him stay ahead of her and by doing so women are also supposed to take it as a sense of honor and duty towards their husband, feeling proud about it. Women are brought up in a way that their approach towards life has molded their own comprehension of their rights and needs. Having to think about themselves comes with a sense of guilt to them. Women, especially in India are conditioned in a certain direction that mainly throws light on a character that is supposed to serve others, be gentle, patient and kind. So women for the longest time have been taking the irrational behavior of their husbands due to them not being bold enough to raise their voice against it. But the narrative has changed now. Narratives of people keep changing, because people keep changing, the economy, and humanity keep evolving. But evolution should not be confused with evolving esteem and respect for others. This might have not happened. Which brings us to many questions.
Is it really true that even though women who are raised in this way in India necessarily become that person later even though the contrary is expected out of them? Is it necessary that all women act out of the same old expectation? Is it sane to still live with the same old mindset that only women are the ones who suffer and take all the unwanted behaviors? How is it fair that we assume a certain conduct of a person on the basis of their gender? Is that not dispassionate towards men? Does that serve the purpose of quality that a large number of us are trying to achieve? Why does equality take a back seat when it comes to gender neutral laws which safeguard the interest of men too?
A larger picture to this question would be that when it comes to any kind of crime, violence, misconduct or any behavior that is unreasonable in the eyes of law then the legislature should see it with no filter of gender. If we specifically throw light on the cases of domestic violence happening in our country then as a source of distress, we might find that domestic violence cases happening to men are more in number, but the only difference is that they do not come to surface due to lack of laws.
With the changing time, the laws made to protect women are ironically causing trauma to innocent men and also not serving men who are suffering from domestic violence themselves. There are men who do not live with the same old approach of treating a woman as an individual with secondary consideration and respect the existence of a woman and on the contrary, there also exist a portion of women who also do not believe that men are to be put on the higher pedestal and do not respect the individuality of a man. Every individual can have a different approach in life. Every citizen can hold their own version of narrative irrespective of what men and women are assumed to act like. There are a lot of men in our country these days who are suffering with violent acts of women who do not understand that respect comes both ways and who clearly do not differentiate between fighting for rights and reacting and simply fighting and reacting in a violent way. One of the factors can also be the illiteracy rate in India that causes such cases because areas where men and women have not been imparted with education, more of such cases are found there because education plays a very vital role between citizens to differentiate between conflict and violence.
But keeping aside other aspects, if we ponder upon how many men these days are suffering from violence from their intimate partners and have no law supporting them, then sadly our legislation is failing at it. There are men who tried to work hard but did not get a platform to rise in life. Who are blamed to have been earning and raising a family up to the expectations of their spouse because let’s not deny men have the pressure to earn and raise a family and if they fail, they are blamed and addressed as weaker men no matter how hard they try? If a section of men believes in demanding dowry, then there is surely a certain section of women who believe that it’s the duty of their husband to maintain them. And above that even men these days are facing domestic violence because there are women who take over the husband purely on the contention that he doesn’t earn well and blame
them for not having to raise a family or any other reason. There are so many cases where a woman doesn’t work or earn anything and pressurizes her husband to earn well and maintain them and if their expectations aren’t meant they harass the husband in many ways. They start misusing the law because our law is gender specific in many areas that it is causing hindrance to the rights of the men who are suffering from these cases. There is such a huge section of women who even misuse the dowry laws to trouble their spouses and induce cases against them. I find it very abusive to put pressure on men to provide women with a life that they themselves cannot make for themselves. As much as women are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men, men are not the poverty eradication plan for lazy women.
Domestic violence and fake dowry cases are on the rise. It is one of the most heinous forms of harassment that both men and women face in our society today, in completely different ways and we are not taking the fight against it seriously. All of the laws are only in the papers, and the reality is quite different. According to surveys, if women make up 60% of victims of domestic violence, the remaining 40% men are also affected due to violence and a huge number of them also face fake dowry cases being imposed on them and their families. We are not raising our voices seriously because we believe we are safe, but we are mistaken because Domestic Violence or false cases can occur with anyone, regardless of race, religion, creed, or caste. If the problem of domestic violence is not adequately addressed, this type of abuse will continue in all classes of society indefinitely. As a result, as Indian citizens and the young generation, we must band together and pass strict laws to protect victims of domestic violence and make dowry laws with more critical analogy.