The relationship between a husband and wife has always been considered an eternal bond for ages. And children make this bond even more special by bringing a sense of fulfillment into this bond. However, all relationships don’t work out well and many couples have to part ways due to several factors ranging from small cases of misunderstanding to extramarital affairs to alcoholism to domestic violence, etc.
There may be many other causes involved in the separation of spouses like fighting over the same issues over and over, losing interest in each other, drug abuse, addiction to gambling, financial issues, and many more. The ‘separation’ decision not only affects the life of spouses but also can cause so deep impact on a child’s mind; negatively and positively both.
Children are one of the best God’s gifts for the parents. They require a positive, happy, safe, and healthy environment for their better overall development; physical, mental, and emotional. There should also be people surrounding them who can inspire them in different aspects of life.
Parents are the primary people with whom they spend most of their time. So, parents with unhealthy and poor lifestyles can’t come up as role models for them. Instead, they can prove a poor role model for their children. Children having an unhealthy, toxic, abusive, and unstable home environment are more likely to develop emotional and behavioural problems. Moreover, prolonged exposure to such home environments can cause children to develop negative emotions like impetuousness, stubbornness, angriness, and loneliness.
Some negative impacts of matrimonial disputes on children can be;
1. Low academic performance
Parents who have unhealthy habits of fighting at home more often in front of their children are subconsciously turning their child/children into dumb ones which can be seen in their academic grades. The impact of marital disputes on children can’t be seen easily as they are more mental and emotional than physical. In other words, such an environment can affect the mental ability of the children by not allowing their mental skills to grow as they tend to.
2. Poor Mental health
Conflicts between parents can put an adverse impact on a child’s mental health. Such children are more prone to develop long-term mental disorders like stress and anxiety. These problems don’t allow them to live a normal, healthy, and happy life as overcoming stress or anxiety is so challenging for them. The major reason is that firstly they are not well aware of it and thus can’t share it with any person for the sake of seeking help.
3. More Prone to addictions
When children don’t get the essential care, love, and affection, they are easily attracted to addictive things like alcohol and drugs. Due to that missing affection & pampering factor, they get easily trapped into several forms of addiction that can take them away from society and eventually ruin their lives.
4. Unlawful behavior
In case of negligence and not getting affection, there are higher chances that they may develop delinquency and get involved in petty crimes that further may lead to big crimes.
5. Feeling of Fear
In many cases, some parents tend to express their anger towards their children by punishing them or setting them aside and not giving attention to them because of their preoccupation with the conflicts. It can affect the bond between a child and his parents in the long run. They may feel unworthy, fearful, or unimportant. Such children don’t grow mentally as well as socially. They might live life in fear and feeling of unworthiness.
6. Emotional Insecurity
When children see their parents arguing, yelling, and fighting, they are more likely to feel emotionally unstable and insecure in the family. Due to this, sometimes they may behave similarly or try to stop the fight or also hide in their rooms to withdraw themselves from such situations. As a result, they can develop some unhealthy patterns of resolving conflicts that can put an adverse effect on their adult relationship and may disturb it as well. While some of those children might also start thinking that they were the reason behind the conflicts of their parents. Such feelings can put them into depression causing them to live a miserable life.
7. Low Self-Esteem & Jealousy
When children often see their parents arguing and yelling at each other, they somewhere begin to believe that they are the reason behind the disputes between their parents. Consequently, they form poor self-image that can further lead to low self-esteem, low confidence, and low creativity & problem-solving skills. Such children don’t get easily connected with any other person or prefer to live alone. And when they see happy families, they feel jealous as well and think that how perfect the family with smiling faces is.
8. Regret
Children dealing with marital conflicts with their parents gradually develop a number of negative feelings including regret. Those children who grow up seeing their parents fighting and getting separated may also have strong feelings of regret.
In such cases, they curse their own destiny or that supernatural power that has sent them to this beautiful planet. They begin to feel why they are not born into a happy family as they deserve one.
9. Lacking resources & support or Insecurity of Future
Over a period, marital conflicts turn into unbearable conditions. At this point, the children may feel threatened and confused about life especially when they begin to develop maturity.
And choosing a parent out of both is one of the toughest decisions of their life. Almost every child wants to live with both of their parents. And we see children often deciding to choose one parent based on their materialistic demands; not on emotional needs or desires. This material-based decision can affect their bond with the other parent. It can also lead to long-term damage to their self-esteem.
10. Poor socio-economic status
Children who witness their parents’ separation have deep psychological effects. It causes them to lose interest in things/activities that are necessary for their mental growth. Such children have lower average performance in their schools and colleges. Poor academics or lack of creativity affects their career and they fail to attain a good economic and hence social status.
If children are mature enough, there may be some positive impact of matrimonial disputes on them. In other words, they can learn from their parents’ disputes and can handle their relationship well. In a few cases, it is found that some older adults take action to resolve their parents’ dispute and persuade them to live a happy life with each other.
Overview
Dealing with the consequences of divorce can be troublesome as it can leave long-term effects, not only on either partner but on their children too. In most cases of arguments or disputes between a husband and wife, a child isn’t mentally mature to understand how to even react to such situations.
Such children often perceive the negative impact of marital disputes. However, if a child is mature enough, he can deal with the long-term consequences of divorce and thus can lead a better life with nominal negative consequences of their parents’ marital disputes.
how can we make the child life better so they have the least impact
Children suffer the most during a separation or a bad marriage. The best way to keep them safe is through counselling and regular mental and physical check ups.
we are doing it but still they want to see us together which is not possible.